Painting is a process, this may sound ridiculously simplistic, but it just is. Returning time and again to solve the unsolvable and to master a technique and language. Why? Why do we do it? The answers are different from artist to artist. I can only answer for me and sometimes I don’t have an answer other than, I am driven to do it. It’s all I can do, it’s all I am capable of doing. But the truth is – it is what I decide to do. I make a choice every day to stay and try to see clearer both what is there physically and what is in my heart, my mind’s eye, to read the vision of what I want to create and put it into paint. Again why? People are dying, starving, struggling and I am painting. It feels selfish at times but trust me when I say it’s not always a walk in the park. I don’t want to sound like I am a martyr painter but maybe it is the same thing that drove our first mathematicians to solve great theorems – it wasn’t always fun but the drive to solve it and come to the conclusion was so great that nothing else mattered. Shouldn’t other things matter? Shouldn’t it matter that there is a cause that needs a leader or groceries to buy or laundry to do? It should matter more than painting right? So when it doesn’t, a conflict erupts inside me so great. The conflict between being a provider and being a creator. Some folks say – Oh but you can bring your creativity into the home with your whole family, give examples of being creative in the kitchen, the garden and with laundry, playdates and homework. Nope. Sorry, not the same thing for me. I know what they mean, but it’s not the same thing. Creativity in the studio is for my personal satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment. It also gives me an unexplainable connection to an unseen unknown life force that fuels my energy and spirit. And THAT is what I can bring back into the home and family. Creativity in the studio, my life as an artist is a spring that I dip into that feeds my soul so that I can give back to my family and community and have something left for me. As I serve it and answer the call, it serves me.